Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Loss of a Friendship

I never thought growing up that I would loose as many friends as I did, and now as an adult I have the same thoughts. As a teen when friendships dissolved it was upsetting, but not like it is now as a woman.

In the book Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge - it explains that women are "relational creatures" It goes on to say "Most women define themselves in terms of their relationships, and the quality they deem those relationships to have" If this is so then why do women constantly hurt each other? I underlined "each other" because we ALL do it!

Not to blame Eve, but part of the consequence of Eve's decision to eat the forbidden fruit is "relational heartache". It seems that most friendships go along great and then become infected with "a virus that makes them fundamentally unavailable...even when its good its not enough."

When I read this it struck me straight to the heart, because its soooo true! My best friend and I had a falling out almost a year ago and I am still really struggling with it! She blames me, I blame me, and all I wanted was to be closer to her and re-connected in our friendship and in each others lives again...(I was a little disconnected after having my youngest).

So what now? How do I deal with the heartache, loss, and regret? Oh the regret...that's mostly what I feel now looking back. And since its been so long how do I repair it? Or is it past repair and if so how do I move past it?